Back to Chemo

Back to chemo and back to an entire slew of side effects. Some the same, some different. All because of the chemo regimen Paul must go through.

The first is fatigue, over the last couple of days I have even seen him at times closing his eyes during conversation. I don't know if this is because of the chemo, or the fact he hasn't eaten good in a week.

Paul hasn't eaten well in a while - first because of pain, then chemo, then nausea. All I can say is awful.

So he has pain, fatigue, nausea, vomiting, skin rash; now what...?? With the pain he is still experiencing, I can honestly say the last 6-7 days have been rough. Hopefully by the chemo round we will be prepared for the side effects, but it is difficult to know which he'll have on the first one.

I hate writing blogs like this, but I want everyone to understand this disease. This is the most difficult thing I have ever gone through and I don't have the disease.

Please continue to pray for Paul and our family.

Only one important thing

I have a few things to tell you, but really only one important thing. First of all, Paul did get treatment yesterday and secondly he is on the clinical trial. Finally, the most important.....

Pray. Pray Hard.

Forging ahead

It is Thursday, and it seems that some days seem to pass quickly while others last forever. Ever since the pain has become a problem every day seems long and drawn out. While still working to get the pain under control, I really see Paul down in the dumps. I can’t stand a simple headache so I have no real understanding of the pain he is going through. I know that the chemo helped with the pain last time, but I will have to read back through the blog myself to remember exactly how many treatments it took to get him to that point. We have Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to go and then he begins going through treatments again.

I have been praying that it be God’s will if he is supposed to be on the trial or not; and it looks like at this point he will be on the trial. He got a call today and it appears the trial is a go! I pray miracles be on My Paul.

You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. PS 77:14

100

First of all, this is my 100th post!! Well actually it is my 99th, because Paul posted once! Well today a plan was made...chemo will start again on Monday. We are not sure if it will be the clinical trial or not, but we don't want to wait any longer. So we are moving on.

Still trying to get the pain under control, we are trying something different yet again. With this and treatment started we are in hopes that the pain will quit controlling his life.

Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise. Jeremiah 17:14

A plan is coming...hopefully.

Well it has been a few more days and we still haven't been able to get the pain under control. We are agressively working on it, just aren't quite there yet.

Each day is difficult for Paul, he is really ready to start chemo. I know that may sound crazy but last time it helped tremendously with the pain. Tomorrow Paul gets to see the doctor again and hopefully at that point we will have a plan for treatment.

Stressful week!

This week has been a stressful one. Paul's pain is spiralling out of control again. He even says it is bringing back horrible memories of when the Journey all began in January. He, as well as I, don't want to get to that point again. The doctors have increased medications to try to get this all under control again, but Paul just isn't there yet.

It is difficult to watch someone you love go through so much, but the good news is he was able to get the CT scan completed so we are hoping he starts chemo by October 26th.

This next round will be on a similar schedule as before...once every two weeks and a 46 hour infusion pump to take home every time. There will be some of the same chemo meds and some different, so it is entirely possible to have new side effects. I guess time will tell.

So until then, we will work on getting the pain under control and wait patiently (well somewhat) for this next set of treatments.

Chilly Fall Weather Weekend

Well, it's great to be blogging again. We had a cold drizzle here in Amarillo all weekend. You can definitely feel fall in the air. The cold still gets to Paul. If you remember one of the chemo meds Paul has taken caused him to develop nueropathy. He still struggles with it. So since we haven't bought our firewood this year, Paul placed a couple of space heaters around him. It felt great to him (I was kinda feeling like I was in a sauna!) but he felt good with the warmth so it was worth it!

He does have some pain coming back, so he is definitely ready to get all these tests done so he can get "the show on the road!"

It's Me...Paul!

You all try not to fall out of your chairs when you read this and realize that I am writing my first "blog". After 9 months of walking through this "journey" I figured it was time to share a few thoughts.

First of all -- well, where do I start? I want to say that all of your support, prayers, and words of encouragement mean more than I can say. "Thanks" written in words is just not enough. Thank you Sheree for being there through the good and the bad. You mean more to me than I could ever say. Thank you for being there through the treatments, doctor visits, and all the rough days and nights. You are doing a fabulous job raising our children during the times when I sleep 44 or so out of 48 hours and just can not chase them around town to dance practices and hockey games. I Love You!

Nine months ago when I was told that I had stage 4 metastatic colon cancer, (after I picked myself up off the floor) I will admit I was very angry. Looking back I can not believe how selfish I was. My thoughts were "why me?" how come this could not happen to somebody else?? I mean, come on, I have 3 kids to raise. This week I will be having my 36th birthday. Wow! How things have changed in a just a short amount of time. First, I wasn't real sure that I would live to see this day come, but I no longer think "why me" but "why not me". I can live each day hoping to better myself, the people I encounter, and I will do all I possibly can to help someone else going through the same thing as myself. I guarantee you this -- This disease is awful (to put in words that the kids can read) and I will do all I can to keep my children from going through what I have gone through. If you all ever have an opportunity to fight cancer in any way -- Please Do! Thank you God for the peace in not having an answer just yet, but for the hope in knowing this is for a reason.

The "TEAM" God has put together to help us walk along this journey is and has been fantastic. This team includes all of our family and friends, and Dr. E and all my new friends at Texas Oncology. You guys are a blessing and although I do not say thank you enough, please know that you are appreciated.

So what happens next? I can definitely tell you from past experiences -- do not think that you have it all figured out. You never know what type of curve ball might be thrown your way. I will continue to fight as hard as I can, both physically and emotionally. My hope is through this clinical trial the doctors and researchers will be one step closer to "the cure."

Wow- that was kind of cool! Maybe you all will hear from me again. Once again, THANK YOU!

God Bless, Paul

It's been a month!

Wow, it has nearly been a month since my last post. There has been a lot going on in the last month. Paul has had several tests and doctors visits because of some unexplained abdominal pain, but is feeling somewhat better now. With all those tests it is determined that it is time. Time for what you might ask...time to start the second line of chemotherapy. Paul will be starting chemotherapy in the next few weeks. He has a few more tests to do before he gets started.

This time he will be participating in a clinical trial and to be a part of this trial he must do a lot of "prep work" tests. It is exciting to be a part of a trial, it is a good feeling that what he is doing will help colon cancer patients in the future.

What have we done over the last month...well one of the most important things is attended the October "I Can Cope" support group meeting! These meetings are absolutely wonderful. If you are a cancer survivor or a caregiver, please, I beg, look into these meetings in your area. They are sponsored by the American Cancer Society and are filled with lots of great information. The October meeting discussed all different types of support; physical, emotional, financial, and any other type of support a patient (survivor) might need. Paul and I always leave these meetings feeling great and refreshed. Something that is being planned locally for cancer support is a 5K/1K fun run/walk for the Panhandle Cancer Cure Foundation. All the proceeds from this will fund research, education, and provide financial resources to cancer patients. Here is the link
to the registration. Please come join in the fun! Paul and I plan on running (probably more like walking!) and would love to have you with us!

I am back to blogging, and will keep you informed as we go forward. No more long delays in my updates, don't worry. We need all the support we can get as Paul goes forward with the next step of his treatment.

Oh yeah...one more thing. Paul will be celebrating his 36th birthday on Thursday!!!