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Obituary

Paul Dobbins

Paul Dobbins, 36, of Amarillo died Tuesday, Nov. 24, 2009.
Services will be at 2 p.m. Saturday in Hillside Christian Church Chapel with Greg Corona officiating. Burial will be in Llano Cemetery by Boxwell Brothers Funeral Directors, 2800 Paramount Blvd.

Paul was born Oct. 8, 1973, in Amarillo to Johnny and Cindy Dobbins. He graduated from Dumas High School in 1992, and he earned his bachelor's degree from West Texas A&M.

He married Sheree Herald on Jan. 12, 1996, in Amarillo. He attended Hillside Christian Church.

Paul played sports of all kinds and was an avid sports fan. He shared his love of sports with his children, taking them to sporting events and teaching them how to play golf. He had a passion for family time, always putting his family first.

He was preceded in death by his grandparents, Arlie and Sue Burchfield.

Survivors include his wife, Sheree Dobbins; three children, Peyton Dobbins, Trevor Dobbins and Kesleigh Dobbins, all of Amarillo; his parents, Johnny and Cindy Dobbins of Dumas; a brother, John Dobbins and wife Heather of Dumas; his grandparents, Wilson and Martha Dobbins of Amarillo; his stepgrandmother, Marie Burchfield of Amarillo; a father-in-law, Doyle Herald and wife Kay of Hooker, Okla.; a mother-in-law, Jackie Clutter and husband Dennis of Hooker; a brother-in-law, Jeff Herald and wife Kathy of Hooker; and a nephew, nieces and a host of friends.

The family suggests memorials be to Dobbins Children Fund, in care of any Amarillo Community Federal Credit Union.

Celebration of Life

The celebration of Paul's life will be
Saturday, November 28
2:00 PM
Hillside Christian Church

A journey

It is difficult to believe, it has been nearly 24 hours since we realized Paul was in his final hours. Paul was called home to be with his Savior the morning of Tuesday, November 24th. We are still getting arrangements ready, and I will let you know them soon.

I want to thank you for all the prayers along the way. Please continue to pray for me and the children because we will have some tough days ahead.

Remember

Life is a journey, not a destination.

Paul has reached his destination, and although I had wanted his miracle to be here on earth; his miracle is in Heaven with eternal life.

Phillippians 4

I really feel called to share Phillippians 4 with you today. Please read and I will share below what I has helped me the last couple of days.

1 Dear brothers and sisters, I love you and long to see you, for you are my joy and the reward for my work. So please stay true to the Lord, my dear friends.

2 And now I want to plead with those two women, Euodia and Syntyche. Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement.

3 And I ask you, my true teammate,* to help these women, for they worked hard with me in telling others the Good News. And they worked with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are written in the Book of Life.

4 Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again--rejoice!

5 Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.

6 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

7 If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

9 Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you.

10 How grateful I am, and how I praise the Lord that you are concerned about me again. I know you have always been concerned for me, but for a while you didn't have the chance to help me.

11 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little.

12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.

13 For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need.

14 But even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty.

15 As you know, you Philippians were the only ones who gave me financial help when I brought you the Good News and then traveled on from Macedonia. No other church did this.

16 Even when I was in Thessalonica you sent help more than once.

17 I don't say this because I want a gift from you. What I want is for you to receive a well-earned reward because of your kindness.

18 At the moment I have all I need--more than I need! I am generously supplied with the gifts you sent me with Epaphroditus. They are a sweet-smelling sacrifice that is acceptable to God and pleases him.

19 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

20 Now glory be to God our Father forever and ever. Amen.

21 Give my greetings to all the Christians there. The brothers who are with me here send you their greetings.

22 And all the other Christians send their greetings, too, especially those who work in Caesar's palace.

23 May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

So here it is...the apostle Paul reminds us Phillippians 4:6-7 in my condensed version.

Don't worry, just pray. And you will experience God's peace.

I Believe

I want to say that there is hope, Paul has never given up on hope. He is a fighter, when he sets out to do a job, he gets it done. This journey has been difficult but we know how truly blessed we are. We are blessed to have so many walking with us and praying for us in this time. There have been difficult days for Paul, but it seems on those days I am able to lift him up. And when I have had difficult days, Paul is able to lift me up. God is good, He is always there for us.

In July of 2008 Paul and I did some updating on the bathrooms in our home. We tore out wallpaper, textured and painted. Paul is one that starts and finishes his goals. Like when he paints, he goes around the room once. He does the cut in work, paints again. Never even stopping long enough to wash the brush.

When the bathrooms were finished, I wanted to put a saying on the wall above the mirror. I researched, googled, looked through catalogs and magazines. I wanted to find that special saying. I searched Bible verses and other sayings. I was patient knowing when I found the right saying, it would just jump out at me. It took me 6 months to find the perfect saying. And in January I put it on the wall. I remember it vividly. It was Sunday and Paul was watching sports on TV as always. I pulled him away long enough to help me measure so I would get this inspiration on the wall just perfectly.

I was able to get the saying on the wall and I was so proud. It was the early morning hours of the following day that the pain began for Paul. January 19th. He spent the next day getting scans and seeing doctors. It was a little over a month before he was diagnosed with colorectal cancer stage 4.

Here is the saying I put on the wall…

Everyday holds the possibility of a Miracle.

I still Believe.

Hospice care

Paul has moved to BSA Hospice. One of our dear friends has organized a prayer vigil for Paul.

Prayer Vigil for Paul Dobbins & family
Saturday, November 21
8 am to 8 pm

Amarillo House of Prayer
4808 S Bonham

There will be a sign in the foyer saying "Paul D" with an arrow pointing to the room reserved for him.

Where's my sign?

I write tonight knowing that I have left many of you wondering what is going on. The days and nights have sped by. Paul is still in the hospital still working on pain. It seems from all the tests that were run that the pain is from the cancer. So the plan is to keep fighting cancer with the chemotherapy and keep praying.

Paul’s new experience this week was getting chemo while still in the hospital. Even though the steps in the chemotherapy infusion didn’t move as fast as at the doctors office, I think it was nice that he could do it from his hospital bed.

Paul has a few hurdles to get through and so I am not really sure when he is going home. From the numbness in his right leg, it has lost a lot of control. Then you add weeks of poor nutrition and he is just weak.

A journey such as this is so difficult. Sometimes the road takes you through dark and dreary places, where you are filled with fear and anxiety. Then there are times when the road is bright and cheery.

I am always looking along the side of the road for a sign. The one I have been searching for lately is…Pain stops in 1 more day. I want to see it, I picture it like the sign you see when coming into beautiful Amarillo...Amarillo 15. When I see that sign I know it’s only 15 miles to home! But in this journey I look, but I don’t see. There aren't any signs along the road. This makes the journey so difficult. There aren’t any signs telling you how much longer or even where you may be going. I know everything happens for a reason, I just wish there was a sign telling me why!

Still blogging from the hospital

Still at the hospital. Nothing has helped in determining the cause of the pain so far. Paul has had an MRI and a CT scan. Although we haven't read official results, there doesn't seem to be anything. Not only are we still trying to find the cause we are still working to get the pain managed also. Frustrating. I guess just keep treating cancer in hopes that this will help with pain. Hopefully be out of the hospital soon, but unsure.

Writing from the hospital

This post is from my phone at the hospital. Please keep Paul in your prayers. We are trying to get his pain under control. Hopefullythis stay in the hospital will help

Chemo delayed

Well here's the news from yesterday. Paul went to the doctor to get the second chemo treatment, but his "counts" were too low. Basically his blood count were low enough that he couldn't get the full regimen. So he will be waiting until next Monday and go back.

He did get to see the doctor and discuss all the new things going on. A new treatment has been started for pain and a lot of discussion about numbness and tingling in his right leg.

I wasn't totally surprised about the low counts, because the common saying with chemo is once you start feeling good, it's time to go back. I never really saw Paul feeling good this time. I'm sure some of that goes with the lack of nutrition.

We continue to try to battle through each and every struggle with this disease. Thanks for your support along the way.

Struggling on day 11

Paul's mouth sores are still bothering him, so much that he can't really eat. We really want to get these healed before he goes back in 4 more days. I can tell it is frustrating to be hungry and not be able to eat. Anyway, that is the biggest struggle right now. It appears that the pain is diminishing a little, keep praying so we can continue to see the pain diminish.

Here is the bible verse Trevor brought to me today:

Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Joshua 1:7

Thankful

There are many stressful days watching someone go through chemotherapy. It is one of the most difficult things to watch. I know he is going through this kill this disease and that is where we will be someday, the road is a long one. Through the last week he has been through so much; nausea, vomiting, fatigue, dehydration, diarrhea, constipation, and now mouth sores. The side effects of some of the medications that he is taking for the side effects of chemotherapy have been bad also. This is when it is difficult to remember that He has a plan, and to be thankful.

I had a friend send this to me the other day, so I thought I would share...

DEAR GOD:

I want to thank You for what you have already done. I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until the children are asleep and the house is quiet; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed; I am thanking you right now. I am thanking you because I am alive. I am thanking you because I made it through the day's difficulties. I am thanking you because I have walked around the obstacles. I am thanking you because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better.

I'm thanking you because FATHER, YOU haven't given up on me.

Back to Chemo

Back to chemo and back to an entire slew of side effects. Some the same, some different. All because of the chemo regimen Paul must go through.

The first is fatigue, over the last couple of days I have even seen him at times closing his eyes during conversation. I don't know if this is because of the chemo, or the fact he hasn't eaten good in a week.

Paul hasn't eaten well in a while - first because of pain, then chemo, then nausea. All I can say is awful.

So he has pain, fatigue, nausea, vomiting, skin rash; now what...?? With the pain he is still experiencing, I can honestly say the last 6-7 days have been rough. Hopefully by the chemo round we will be prepared for the side effects, but it is difficult to know which he'll have on the first one.

I hate writing blogs like this, but I want everyone to understand this disease. This is the most difficult thing I have ever gone through and I don't have the disease.

Please continue to pray for Paul and our family.

Only one important thing

I have a few things to tell you, but really only one important thing. First of all, Paul did get treatment yesterday and secondly he is on the clinical trial. Finally, the most important.....

Pray. Pray Hard.

Forging ahead

It is Thursday, and it seems that some days seem to pass quickly while others last forever. Ever since the pain has become a problem every day seems long and drawn out. While still working to get the pain under control, I really see Paul down in the dumps. I can’t stand a simple headache so I have no real understanding of the pain he is going through. I know that the chemo helped with the pain last time, but I will have to read back through the blog myself to remember exactly how many treatments it took to get him to that point. We have Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to go and then he begins going through treatments again.

I have been praying that it be God’s will if he is supposed to be on the trial or not; and it looks like at this point he will be on the trial. He got a call today and it appears the trial is a go! I pray miracles be on My Paul.

You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. PS 77:14

100

First of all, this is my 100th post!! Well actually it is my 99th, because Paul posted once! Well today a plan was made...chemo will start again on Monday. We are not sure if it will be the clinical trial or not, but we don't want to wait any longer. So we are moving on.

Still trying to get the pain under control, we are trying something different yet again. With this and treatment started we are in hopes that the pain will quit controlling his life.

Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise. Jeremiah 17:14

A plan is coming...hopefully.

Well it has been a few more days and we still haven't been able to get the pain under control. We are agressively working on it, just aren't quite there yet.

Each day is difficult for Paul, he is really ready to start chemo. I know that may sound crazy but last time it helped tremendously with the pain. Tomorrow Paul gets to see the doctor again and hopefully at that point we will have a plan for treatment.

Stressful week!

This week has been a stressful one. Paul's pain is spiralling out of control again. He even says it is bringing back horrible memories of when the Journey all began in January. He, as well as I, don't want to get to that point again. The doctors have increased medications to try to get this all under control again, but Paul just isn't there yet.

It is difficult to watch someone you love go through so much, but the good news is he was able to get the CT scan completed so we are hoping he starts chemo by October 26th.

This next round will be on a similar schedule as before...once every two weeks and a 46 hour infusion pump to take home every time. There will be some of the same chemo meds and some different, so it is entirely possible to have new side effects. I guess time will tell.

So until then, we will work on getting the pain under control and wait patiently (well somewhat) for this next set of treatments.

Chilly Fall Weather Weekend

Well, it's great to be blogging again. We had a cold drizzle here in Amarillo all weekend. You can definitely feel fall in the air. The cold still gets to Paul. If you remember one of the chemo meds Paul has taken caused him to develop nueropathy. He still struggles with it. So since we haven't bought our firewood this year, Paul placed a couple of space heaters around him. It felt great to him (I was kinda feeling like I was in a sauna!) but he felt good with the warmth so it was worth it!

He does have some pain coming back, so he is definitely ready to get all these tests done so he can get "the show on the road!"

It's Me...Paul!

You all try not to fall out of your chairs when you read this and realize that I am writing my first "blog". After 9 months of walking through this "journey" I figured it was time to share a few thoughts.

First of all -- well, where do I start? I want to say that all of your support, prayers, and words of encouragement mean more than I can say. "Thanks" written in words is just not enough. Thank you Sheree for being there through the good and the bad. You mean more to me than I could ever say. Thank you for being there through the treatments, doctor visits, and all the rough days and nights. You are doing a fabulous job raising our children during the times when I sleep 44 or so out of 48 hours and just can not chase them around town to dance practices and hockey games. I Love You!

Nine months ago when I was told that I had stage 4 metastatic colon cancer, (after I picked myself up off the floor) I will admit I was very angry. Looking back I can not believe how selfish I was. My thoughts were "why me?" how come this could not happen to somebody else?? I mean, come on, I have 3 kids to raise. This week I will be having my 36th birthday. Wow! How things have changed in a just a short amount of time. First, I wasn't real sure that I would live to see this day come, but I no longer think "why me" but "why not me". I can live each day hoping to better myself, the people I encounter, and I will do all I possibly can to help someone else going through the same thing as myself. I guarantee you this -- This disease is awful (to put in words that the kids can read) and I will do all I can to keep my children from going through what I have gone through. If you all ever have an opportunity to fight cancer in any way -- Please Do! Thank you God for the peace in not having an answer just yet, but for the hope in knowing this is for a reason.

The "TEAM" God has put together to help us walk along this journey is and has been fantastic. This team includes all of our family and friends, and Dr. E and all my new friends at Texas Oncology. You guys are a blessing and although I do not say thank you enough, please know that you are appreciated.

So what happens next? I can definitely tell you from past experiences -- do not think that you have it all figured out. You never know what type of curve ball might be thrown your way. I will continue to fight as hard as I can, both physically and emotionally. My hope is through this clinical trial the doctors and researchers will be one step closer to "the cure."

Wow- that was kind of cool! Maybe you all will hear from me again. Once again, THANK YOU!

God Bless, Paul

It's been a month!

Wow, it has nearly been a month since my last post. There has been a lot going on in the last month. Paul has had several tests and doctors visits because of some unexplained abdominal pain, but is feeling somewhat better now. With all those tests it is determined that it is time. Time for what you might ask...time to start the second line of chemotherapy. Paul will be starting chemotherapy in the next few weeks. He has a few more tests to do before he gets started.

This time he will be participating in a clinical trial and to be a part of this trial he must do a lot of "prep work" tests. It is exciting to be a part of a trial, it is a good feeling that what he is doing will help colon cancer patients in the future.

What have we done over the last month...well one of the most important things is attended the October "I Can Cope" support group meeting! These meetings are absolutely wonderful. If you are a cancer survivor or a caregiver, please, I beg, look into these meetings in your area. They are sponsored by the American Cancer Society and are filled with lots of great information. The October meeting discussed all different types of support; physical, emotional, financial, and any other type of support a patient (survivor) might need. Paul and I always leave these meetings feeling great and refreshed. Something that is being planned locally for cancer support is a 5K/1K fun run/walk for the Panhandle Cancer Cure Foundation. All the proceeds from this will fund research, education, and provide financial resources to cancer patients. Here is the link
to the registration. Please come join in the fun! Paul and I plan on running (probably more like walking!) and would love to have you with us!

I am back to blogging, and will keep you informed as we go forward. No more long delays in my updates, don't worry. We need all the support we can get as Paul goes forward with the next step of his treatment.

Oh yeah...one more thing. Paul will be celebrating his 36th birthday on Thursday!!!

Labor Day Weekend

Wow-Labor Day weekend! What a great idea...a three day weekend! I love three day weekends, in fact I have always said I would like to talk to the person(s) who decided which days were "work" days and which days were weekends. I would definitely try to convince them that Monday is part of the weekend! Since that will never happen I will just savor every three day weekend.

A beautiful weekend it has been. We caught up on some much needed rest from last weekend. (which we spent in Big D!) and from our new schooltime routine. What an amazing 2 weeks it has been. The kids just love school (mom and dad are adjusting well too!)

Paul goes back to the doctor's office for bloodwork in a week. Then he has his checkup in 2 weeks. Keep praying the disease is still stable! Although the fatigue seems to be getting better the pain in his hands and feet from neuropathy does not. This is frustrating because not only has chemo treatment stopped but he is also on medication for this specific thing. I have hope.

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.

Ps. 31:24

For now

At this point in the journey I am not really sure how frequently I will write. When you think about a break from chemo it seems as if life would go back to "normal" (whatever that may be). This past weekend just goes to prove the effects of chemotherapy on the body. Paul's last chemo was 4 weeks ago, but he is still fighting fatigue. I want to better explain what I mean...he was awake about 8 hours over the entire weekend. Unfortunately he was so fatigued that even the times he was awake he wasn't very active. I am telling you this disease is awful. The things one has to go through to rid the body of cancer cells is terrible.

So to say the least...the weekend was uneventful. I spent the best part of the weekend getting the kids ready for their big day on Monday. The first day of school. This is always exciting for the children. Always so much fun to grow into another stage in their life.

I have been thinking...do you want to still hear about our boring lives? It will be mid-September before we know if we are waiting for another month or starting something new. So I will definitely post a few times between now and then, but I am unsure how much really!

I want to leave you with a saying I found on a bracelet during our trip to the mountains.

Have Faith, Expect Miracles.

Doctor's Visit Yesterday

Well, there is some good and bad to yesterday. The bad is the platelets were too low for treatment again. The doctor gave us the results of the CT scan, the good news is Paul is in what the doctor called "stable remission". The lymph nodes are normal sized and the blood work marker for colorectal cancer is "undetectable". I guess you could say that the cancer is inactive at this point. So Paul has a break for now from chemo.

Paul will go back in one month for blood work. Until then he gets to recuperate from the nasty toxins from the chemo and ENJOY LIFE! Praise God for this much needed break. This is a physical struggle and mental struggle, the break is definitely needed!

Scan Today

Paul has his CT scan today. This means 6-8 hours of no food or liquid and a mug full of berry smoothie deliciousness (I picked up that word from Peyton!) Hopefully we will know more about the scan on Monday.

I was going to post a few pictures of the kiddos and Paul hitting golf balls at the driving range a couple of weeks ago.

Paul and I, the kids, along with Nannie and Papaw went out to let the kiddos take a few practice swings at the course. Obviously, the kids had a wonderful time!

I Can Cope

Last night Paul and I attended another I Can Cope meeting. The topic was communicating concerns and feelings. When I first saw the topic matter, I thought wow, not just cancer survivors can benefit from this. So, once again, I found it was a beneficial meeting. I hope the group continues to grow, I think these meetings would be really beneficial to many patients. Starting in October, the meeting time will change to the first Tuesday of each month. So if you live close by and want to attend, let us know and we can get you some more information.

Paul is doing fairly well this week. He is still experiencing some side effects; mainly he is experiencing nueropathy, headaches and fatigue. Tomorrow is the CT scan and he gets to drink his favorite berry "smoothie" (okay, maybe it isn't his favorite!)

Uh oh, it happened again!

There is good news and bad news - bad news is the platelets are too low for treatment, good news is Paul gets another week off. Although there is another break, this news was a little upsetting because he just wants to get finished with the last two treatments of this cycle.

Since he is unable to get chemo this week, he is going ahead and getting a CT scan on Friday. This will let us know how the cancer has been responding to the treatment. Also Paul talked with the doctor on his continual headache, so he is trying a new medicine to maybe get that under control. He has had a headache for about 3 weeks now and I know that is wearing on his last nerve.

Don't worry, we won't be running away to the mountains this time. (We might have if he didn't have a CT scan scheduled!)

Please pray with us as Paul has his CT scan on Friday. It is discouraging he can't have treatment, when there are only 2 more.

Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help and he will say, Here I am
Is 58:9

Weak and weary

You may have noticed in my blogging lately, but things seem to be more difficult here at the end. Paul's side effect are lasting longer, and he is still experiencing headaches. And, in my opinion, he is emotionally drained.

I have always heard that people get to a point in chemo treatments that they just want to quit. I can see how they get there emotionally. It is a totally draining experience. Only 2 treatments left, but I must admit this has been a LONG 6 months, and I haven't been the one that is sick.

Sorry for this blah post, the theme to this is definitely weakness, both emotionally and physically. I know we must keep our eyes focused on Him.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Is. 40:29

Apologies

Wow, I hadn't realized that I didn't post on Friday. Last week was a "doozy" for Paul and myself. It just seemed it was one thing after another! I am glad we have that behind us. Paul is going through the normal side effects, nausea, vomiting, fatigue...but he is also still suffering from headaches. It has been around 11 or 12 days with a headache and I know that is getting to him.

Whew

While Paul was at the doctors office on Monday, he shared some information with the doctor about some recent headaches he has been having. Well, to make a long story short we hit the local hospital on Monday evening for an MRI of the Paul's brain. Yesterday we got the news that it is NORMAL. (Now I know many of you are thinking of many comments that go here, but I am refraining!) So he is taking some cold and sinus medication and I believe it is helping (he isn't complaining, so I guess it is helping!?)

I guess it is common when you have or have had a disease such as cancer, you tend to worry about every little ache or pain. But this doesn't have to be a worry anymore...Praise God!

I still haven't uploaded the pictures from vacation to my computer, so sorry you will have to continue to wait for those...talk to you again soon.

Chemo #10 Complete....finally!

Well we got in from the mountains late last night and this morning Paul went in for chemo #10. The platelet count was up, so everything proceeded as planned. Don't know if the platelets will go "below the line" again, but we will cross that bridge when we get to it. I don't know if you know much about platelets, so I wanted to share some platelet information with you.

Platelets, also called thrombocytes (THROM-boh-sites), are fragments of bone marrow cells that are found in the circulating blood and are critical in stopping bleeding. Platelets, along with other blood components, rush to the site of an injury and work to form a blood clot, which is necessary to stop the bleeding. A low platelet count is referred to as thrombocytopenia.

Thrombocytopenia is a common side effect of chemotherapy. Chemo works by destroying cells that grow rapidly, such as cells in the bone marrow that generate platelets. Other rapidly growing healthy cells are also affected, the most commonly known are the hair follicles which cause hair loss. Another is the GI tract including the mouth, therefore chemotherapy patients may experience mouth sores.

The body is such an intricate piece of work. It is overwhelming to me when I think about how it all works. I leave that to those who have spent many years studying and practicing the medical field.

I am happy that Paul has completed #10 and also excited we were able to spend some time away from home. I plan to tell you more about our trip in the next few days.

Enjoying the mountains

We are enjoying ourselves in God's beautiful mountains. I will post more about our experience when we get home.

I wanted to share a verse one of my friends sent me via text..

Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.

Ps 57:1

Gotta Go!

Okay, I haven't posted in a couple of days. Here is why...Monday after Paul found out he wasn't able to have chemo, he began to get the itch to leave town. I know it sounds crazy, but even though the platelets are low, he feels great. So he began working on a plan...now it is Thursday and we are enjoying the great mountain air of New Mexico. Nothing better than taking in the great outdoors, the sound of the creek nearby is so relaxing. We may even make it up the 4 wheel drive road to Cabresto Lake, (you may remember me telling you it was one of Paul's favorite places).

So if I don't post again until late Sunday...don't get worried. We are enjoying Paul's break from chemo with a little vacation and it isn't the easiest thing to get cell phone and wireless access here so posting time is limited. Can't wait to tell you all about it!

A note to be found.

I was cleaning Peyton’s room last night and she has a little notepad where she writes some of her favorite verses as she comes across them. The notepad was open to this verse, which she had made note of:

The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed,
a stronghold in times of trouble.
And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 9:9-10 (ESV)

I’m not sure why she wrote this one down, maybe so I would read it and post it :). This is what I think this verse tells us:
• look for the LORD: if we do this, the LORD will find us!
• trust in the LORD: if we do this the LORD will give us help
• hide in the LORD: if we do this, the LORD will make us safe

Thank you Peyton for writing this down so I could find it, you are such a joy in our lives. We love you!

Chemo #10 Postponed!

Today Paul went to the doctor and had his blood work done. His platelets were too low to do chemo today, so it is postponed until next Monday. I'll admit, it was a shock to us, we hadn't kept up with the blood work so we were unprepared for that news. So he will hold off until next Monday.

So what to do now? What will we do this week? That I don't know, nor do I know about any other week, but hopefully we can enjoy it.

It's Friday and I have been thinking!

It's Friday and Paul goes for chemo treatment #10 on Monday. I have been thinking a lot lately, where we have been in this journey. It was January when it all started, and we thought it was just a pesky kidney stone, never did we expect stage 4 colon cancer and the journey that we had ahead. I'll admit the first 2 months were extremely rough. We didn't know the real problem for a little over a month, and then the doctors had to make a plan. The next month was nearly as difficult as Paul started chemo and began dealing with side effects. The rest of the time hasn't been easy, but there was comfort in the plan and we were beginning to understand what to expect.

Now Paul has 3 treatments to go, we know that. But what then?...there begins the unknown. Will he be finished? Will there be a different chemo regimen? If so, will there be a break? Nobody can answer that. This is when we must trust in Him, which is often easier said than done. As we go into these last 3 treatments, I am believing in Him that this disease will not remain stable, but will continue to shrink.

I want you to continue to pray along with us in this journey. It is such a blessing to have you as our friend. So many things have changed in our lives, I now realize so many things that I took for granted. I treasure all of you, I value your friendship and your caring for me, Paul, and our family!

Back at it!

Well my couple of days off of work are over (bummer!) and the kids went to Dumas last night to spend the night with Paul's parents. Are you ready?...They slept until 10 am this morning. How come they never sleep that late at home??

Paul is doing well, as I mentioned before he gets exhausted due to the hear. The air conditioner at his work has been on the blink, so it has been tought for him to find a comfortable temperature. Other than that the side effects are the same as before.

Please keep praying, we want to cancer cells to continue dying through the final 3 chemo treatments!

You are the God who performs miracles;
you display your power among the
peoples.

Psalm 77:14

A couple of days at home

I have taken off Monday and Tuesday this week to just spend some time with the kiddos. Nothing very exciting just a couple days at home (I know I can't hold a candle to the exciting days that their grandmas always have planned). Monday was "jammie day", yes you heard it right. The plan was to for the kids and I to stay in our jammies as long as we could! We had a great time just hanging out and doing different art projects.

Unfortunately Paul had to work and wasn't able to join in our day. He is feeling pretty well, just seems to take a beating from the heat. The rest of the week is supposed to be mid-nineties instead of the mid-one hundreds like last week. Both are hot and they seem to take a toll on his body. He has done really well this round, he was able to keep the nausea under much better control than last time. Seven days until chemo #10, hopefully he will feel well and can enjoy every one of them!

Change

Paul having chemo on Monday this week definitely changed things up a bit. Day 4, which had always fallen Saturday - is now on Thursday. So the extreme fatigue started then. But he is doing well and, as always, trying to fight his way through the fatigue. He often amazes me with his strength and how much he is able to do. Maybe the fatigue will be over soon, I hope so, I'm looking forward to a great weekend!!

Day 4 Chemo 9

Paul is doing well. Yesterday nausea hit, so after a discussion during pump disconnect there has been a little change in the medicines. Nothing new, just a little different combo of thos he already has. Whew! No new prescriptions!

We are in reocrd heat conditions here in Amarillo. I actually saw a weather advisory for heat; warning to be careful of heat exhaustion and heat stroke. Wow! Since Paul started chemo the cold made his hands hurt and the heat just exhausts him. I think it is difficult for him because he knows he can't do what he could before - chemo is such a tough thing on the body. If you know me, I try to tell him he is doing too much. I even tried to get his doctor on my side. But it didn't work...if he wants to do it and can do it, then he does! So that was a good lesson for me to STOP NAGGING. So Paul does what he can when he can!

Independence Day Recap

As Independence Day came and went, I think back on the many celebrations I have attended on this holiday in the past. Most include a cookout of hamburgers or hot dogs, homemade ice cream and watching a fireworks display. At some point as a child I even enjoyed my own fireworks display! (The only day of the year I was actually allowed to play with fire!)

Some cities have big elaborate displays, some even let the citizens of their community light fireworks in the residential section of town. All in celebration of our Independence. One thing I want to say is ... THANKS! Thanks to the thousands of men and women who have served and continue to serve our country. Thank you for our freedom and Independence. These men and women are owed great respect for serving this country. Nothing I can say would express how much I appreciate what they do for us.

The weekend was great for us. Paul got in a round of golf as well as a few great cookouts and a phenomenal fireworks display. It was a fabulous time!

Yesterday was chemo #9. This was fairly uneventful, because there wasn't a doctor visit preceding. Paul was able to get that out of the way last week. As for today...a few checks and then chemo. Since Paul has been a Wednesday chemo guy, he was able to see new faces in the chemo room (new patient faces that is!) Everything went well, and when it was over he didn't waste much time getting to work!

This treatment cycle we are trying to keep Paul from the nausea and vomiting. I hope a proactive approach will be the answer. One of the most difficult things about this journey is when I think I have everything figured out...it changes!

Keep Paul in your prayers, the next 7 days are rough and hopefully the new proactive approach will stop the nausea.

God Bless America!

I will post more later, but here are a few quotes I found!

"The general principles upon which the Fathers achieved independence were the general principals of Christianity...I will avow that I believed and now believe that those general principles of Christianity are as eternal and immutable as the existence and attributes of God." -- John Adams

"[The Bible] is the rock on which our Republic rests." -- Andrew Jackson

"We have staked the whole future of American civilization, not upon the power of government, far from it. We've staked the future of all our political institutions upon our capacity...to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God. -- James Madison

"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and Bible." -- George Washington

"To the distinguished character of patriot, it should be our highest glory to add the more distinguished character of Christian." -- George Washington

Yankee Doodle

We have been enjoying the last couple of days without chemo. The kids have had a wonderful summer. Since it is summer we are a lot more relaxed with them. I have been letting them stay up and it's funny because they all want to sleep in the same room. For me, it has been a little weird going to bed when the kids haven't gone to sleep yet, but hey that is what summer is for right?

I have been thinking about this all week. Last Saturday when bringing the kids back from Oklahoma, Kesleigh kept singing Yankee Doodle. Trevor was asleep (he may have made it three minutes out of town!), Peyton was listening to music with her headphones on, and Kesleigh....singing Yankee Doodle Dandy. I don't even know the song, but she does. You would think that I could remember it after hearing it repeatedly for 2 1/2 hours. Seriously she sang it the entire way home! I loved it! I even tried to get it recorded on my phone, but she wasn't singing quite loud enough for my phone to pick it up.

It is a festive song with the 4th of July coming up. If you want to sing it and don't remember the lyrics...call Kesleigh, she does!

Great News!

Great news! The recent CT scan shows shrinking lymph nodes and everything else is stable. We are extremely excited! Also, since every holiday weekend has been a chemo weekend, it was decided that treatment will be on Monday and Paul can enjoy the weekend. A holiday weekend without being chemo sick. Praise God!

Paul really needs the break, both physically and emotionally. So there you have it - great news all around! Paul is going to enjoy his July 4th weekend with snowcones and ice cream!

Everyone home!

We have everyone home for a few days - Peyton is back from church camp and Trevor and Kesleigh back from Oklahoma.

With it being a holiday week, Paul's appointment is on Tuesday instead of Wednesday. He went in last week for a CT scan, and we hope to get the results tomorrow. I have a really good feeling about this one!

Of course, he isn't looking forward to treatment tomorrow. Each time it seems the side effects get a little worse and last a little longer. In turn, I think that makes the anticipations worse.

He never complains...I can just sense it. Just pray he gets a good report tomorrow, good news would definitely be encouraging! I admit it would put a huge smile on my face!

Whew! Much better!

I am not sure if it was the fluids or the new medication, but Paul is feeling much better. He is able to eat and believe me, he is eating! Thank you God!

Many of you have heard the saying (or even the song)...Every Rose has a Thorn. One of my friends said to me recently, "I am glad the two of you can see the rose through the thorns!" And, it's true, we do. We know He has a plan. We don't know the plan (I keep hoping He will put it on a local billboard so I can drive by and read it!), but we trust in Him that there is one...and I know it is grand.

My grandma had a rose garden. I am not sure how many, maybe one of my relatives will post a comment if they know. I do know, it was more rose bushes than many would ever have in their yard. She knew every kind and variation, many times even the greenhouse. She never let the thorns keep her from this beautiful flower. In fact, Grandma shared her love by giving her roses away to everyone. She would bring you fresh cut roses from her garden on your birthday, anniversary, or any other special occasion.

What do you see in a rose? Can you get past the pesky thorns and enjoy the beauty of the flower? Can you just smell the sweet aroma of fresh roses?

Please, look past the thorns, and please, take time to smell the roses!

A couple of tough days

Well I wish I had better news, but the last couple of days may just be the worst days since chemo started. The nausea and vomiting hit Paul and didn't seem to let up. Yesterday he was prescribed a couple of new medications, anti-emetics, or medications for nausea. This, of course, was in an attempt to get the nausea under control so the vomiting would stop. Luckily the nausea is much better, although not completely gone, and the vomiting has stopped. Today, with concerns of dehydration, Paul went to the doctors office to get some fluids. They pumped him full of fluids through his chemo port and he went home. Praise God, tonight Paul was able to eat and he even seems to have a little energy. I am so glad he feels better, I hate it that he went through that, but he remains in good spirits

I thank you for all your prayers, as he gets further into chemotherapy the days definitely get more difficult.

Happy Father's Day!!

Happy Fathers Day to all dads out there! I know it isn't a easy job being a parent.

I am so proud of Paul, he is an excellent father. As a young girl this was always something that I dreamed of...a man who loves God and his children more than himself. A man who teaches his children how to love others. A man who teaches his children how to be respectful of others. I could go on and on, but I found this man when I found Paul. I have considered myself a lucky girl since then!

Paul has spent a great portion of this Father's Day Weekend catching up on some chemo napping. (chemo napping...what I call the extreme fatigue that overcomes Paul the weekend after chemo) Peyton headed to Hidden Falls Ranch to church camp today and Trevor and Kesleigh will be heading out to spend some time with my family in Oklahoma. Paul and I will have another few days in a silent home. The kids love all the time away, and I love it when they come back home!

I hope all fathers had a great day! Happy Fathers Day!

My Wish for You!

Chemo #8 Over!

Today was chemo #8! This one snuck up on me, but I'm sure it didn't Paul. The day was the typical chemo day. Check the blood counts, see the doctor, get the chemo. Now I believe Paul will start counting down the chemo treatments.

As I sit here and reflect on the previous 7 chemotherapy treatments, they are difficult...I wouldn't ever say it is an easy road, but it is definitely hasn't been awful. I know our faith and trust in God has guided us thus far and will continue to guide through the remainder of this journey. I am so thankful to have you with us along this journey. It sounds odd, but this journey has made me feel blessed, blessed to have so many people caring and praying for us!

I thank my God every time I remember you. Phil 1:3

Relay for Life Completed!

If you haven’t ever attended a Relay for Life – you need to do it someday! It was one of the most wonderful experiences. Amarillo was home to the first Relay in Texas and relays have been going on nationwide for 25 years. It is a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society filled with people whose personal lives have been affected by cancer, in hopes that someday they will find a cure for this terrible disease.

We arrived early to make sure we weren’t going to miss anything! After a few introductions and inspirational speeches, the walk began with the survivors. Paul wore his purple survivor shirt as did many others. He walked around the baseball field, I joined him midway as his caregiver. Along the sides of the walking track were people cheering us on! What great encouragement for those that are currently battling this disease.

You might say what was so much fun watching many people walk the track for cancer. The infield was filled will all kinds of things to do and different things to raise money for their teams, delicious food, raffles, temporary tattoos, a big jumper for the kids, silent auction. Paul & Trevor even got involved in a good ole game of tag football.

The kids had a wonderful time, as did we! Peyton chose to run laps instead of walking (this spring she found that she loves running long distances!)

There was live music throughout the might and lots of good visiting with the teams. We spent most of our time with the teams from the oncology office that Paul frequents.

After sundown the luminary started. Luminaries surrounded the entire track each honoring someone that has battled cancer. Some who had lost their fight, some who have survived, and some who are still battling. So imagine, a dark track, with only the light of the luminaries surrounding it, and a bagpipe playing Amazing Grace. This is when Paul really was touched by the experience. As we walked the track reading the names on the luminaries we came across one with Paul’s name…what a surprise!

Unfortunately the kids missed the luminary service; they gave out a little early and left to spend the night with their Nannie and Papaw. But we are definitely going back next year – hopefully we can even have our own team! Better yet, I hope you can join us for the walk!

Relay for Life!

Paul began feeling better around 10 PM last night. YIPPEE, praise the Lord! I know this is may sound odd, but I hope it was a bug instead of a lingering side effect. I definitely don't want him to experience it next time!

Tonight we take on another new adventure. Tonight we are going to attend our first Relay for Life. It will be held at the "Dilla Villa" (for those of you that don't know the Dilla Villa...it is the spot that Amarillo's pro baseball team calls their home!)

I will be able to tell you more about this event later, but what I know is that it is a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. Here is the link

Week activities, Trevor's Birthday!

Tuesday evening Paul and I attended the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life Survivor Dinner. It was a very nice event, but Paul doesn't quite see himself there just yet. The evening had beautiful music, a wonderful dinner and a celebration of survivorship.

Yesterday was the day Trevor had been anxiously awaiting. He is now 6! When I think about it, I just can't believe that 6 years have passed. Paul got us all up early to head out and eat breakfast for Trevor's birthday. We hit the Waffle House and everyone enjoyed a waffle for breakfast. That evening Trevor was able to open up his gifts...a basketball and a basketball goal! He loves sports, so it doesn't get much better than this for him.

Yesterday evening, Paul and I attended our second "I Can Cope" meeting. It was another great topic..fatigue. I found that the things they discussed were not only great for Paul, but for myself also. I am not sure if it was the Waffle House from earlier in the morning or everlasting chemo side effects, but Paul didn't feel well at all. It was day 8 and he is typically feeling much better by this time, but last night he felt awful. These are things I know you really don't want to hear about, so I will spare you all that. Hopefully it will pass and he will feel better soon!

Today

Today is typically the day that Paul begins feeling better after the chemo. Although the side effects seem to last longer and longer after each treatment. There is a slight pattern to all of it, but not enough of a pattern to count on it!

This week is filled with cancer support activities...we are so excited about that. Tonight Paul and I are going the the American Cancer Society's Survivor Dinner for the Relay for Life. We don't know anyone going but I am sure we will connect with many others there. Tomorrow night is the "I Can Cope" support group and the discussion for the evening will be fatigue. We have been excited about this since we heard about it. Then on Friday is the Relay for Life at the Dilla Villa. I hear it is a grand event, so for anyone that wants to come out and join us please do!

In addition to all that....Trevor is 6 tomorrow! He has been counting down the days until his birthday for about a month. There is one thing he knows he wants for his birthday...a present. The great thing about it is he said I could pick the present!

We have a great week planned, can't wait to share more with you!

Doing well!

Paul has been refusing to let the fatigue slow him down. He is tired, that is obvious, but he continues to refuse to slow down. I assume that is okay, I just support him in whatever he wants to do. Whether it is to sleep all day or be active all day.

Finally when he sat down to watch game 5 of the Stanley Cup, he falls asleep!

Hope all is going well with everyone. It is hard to believe the kids have already been out of school for a week!

46 Hours of Pumping

Paul completed chemo #7 yesterday. Everything went well, praise God! We know he will have 12 treatments with this chemo medicine combination, but unsure if he will have more with a different combination. Only time will tell (and the results of a CT scan and his CEA counts!) Keep praying

When he leaves chemo he has a chemo pump for the next 46 hours. We he started it was a battery operated pump, but the last few treatments Paul has tried several disposable pumps.

The disposables are great for the fact that you don’t hear the pump every few minutes and they may showering easier than with the battery powered pumps.

My heart goes out to everyone that has to have these pumps for even longer than 46 hours. Paul doesn’t seem to sleep well the days he has the pump, at least he knows it is only 46 hours to disconnect and he will be “free” until the next treatment!

Anticipated Rollercoaster

You know that feeling you get before you get on a rollercoaster? Nervousness and anticipation? You don't know exactly what the ride will be like. That is somewhat the same as Paul feels the day before chemo.

He is about to go on yet another rollercoaster ride, unsure of what side effects he might experience this time. It makes for a nerve racking day. Not only does he feel this nervousness, but also he seems to get this feeling of urgency. He tries to get so much done the day before chemo because he doesn't know when he will feel like doing things again.

It is a hurried-up day filled with all types of emotions.

Tomorrow is chemo #7, is that right? or am I losing count? Nope, it's 7. It is hard to believe it is already #7!! I'm sure Paul will do well tomorrow, I just pray that he won't experience side effects this time.

The start of summer

The kids left Saturday evening to spend 5-7 days with my family in Hooker. They were extremely excited, rushing me to get packed up so they could go. With our busy week, I was a little behind on laundry, so I had a couple loads of laundry to do before I could even get them packed. But I got it done, and they left grinning from ear to ear.

Boy, after they left, the house was extremely quiet. A couple of times I asked Paul, "do you hear that?" He said, "what??" I said, "Nothing...IT'S SILENT!"

It is always great for kids to get a break from their parents, and also for parents to get a break from their kids! As for our pets, Charlie and Princess, they definitely miss their little friends. The are extremely lost when it comes to bedtime, with the kids gone - they don't know where to sleep!

Paul was tired this weekend. Although that isn't common for days 11 & 12, I chalk it up to having something every night last week. I am so proud of him, he refuses to let this disease keep him from going to all these activities! He is such a trooper, always giving his all!

We did it! Last week of school over!

Our busy week is over! This week was filled with dance dress rehearsals, dance recitals, school awards assemblies, graduation ceremonies! With all these things we attended Paul realized one thing…it hurts to clap. I assume that is a part of the neuropathy. He chose to give thumbs up instead of clapping.

We are glowing parents after this week, we are so proud of our children. It definitely makes us smile to see them making such big accomplishments in their young lives. It is a joy to see them loving God, loving others, and loving life.

Now that school is over and our busy lives are settling down for a while, our children have gone to Hooker to stay for the first week of summer. Although, we miss them dearly, as adults we have some sleep we need to catch up on. I also have some housework to catch up on.

We are definitely filling the rest of our weekend resting and enjoying the time we have with just the two of us. Next Wednesday is chemo again and we will start the next rollercoaster ride. The ride of Paul feeling bad for a several days before he will fill good again!

Got Flamingos?? We do!

This morning we were surprised by a flock of pink flamingos in our front yard! What a pleasant surprise it was. The note on the door says “anonymous” made a donation to the American Cancer Society's "Relay for Life" and recommended our yard as the perfect place for the flamingos to rest for the day. Thank you!

The sign in the yard lets those that drive by know it is a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society.

This is a time that I must say thanks to everyone. This journey is not easy; Paul has good days and bad days. It seems we are on a rollercoaster at times. I must admit I have a few bad days myself. But I know you are out there praying for us! Things like this make me smile, knowing we have all your support. We just continue to take one day at a time, but look forward to the day we can finish this chapter in our lives.

Today, we are happy to have a flock of pink flamingos in our yard. We just have a couple of busy days left this week, then hopefully a relaxing weekend. Paul is wearing down; I know he must be looking forward to the weekend as much as I am.

Unfortunately the flock of pink flamingos were moved to their next destination at 6:15 tonight. Tomorrow some other family will awake to a yard full of flamingos like we did!

Memorial Weekend Over

It's official, Brent finished his high school education at HHS. It was a memorable event, he is a member of the centennial class at HHS.

We headed out of Amarillo Saturday morning. Paul drove the entire 2 1/2 hours while I took comfort in the co-pilot seat. We went to graduation and to the celebration lunch with many family and friends of our nephew Brent. That was all it took for Paul to tire out and he spent nearly the entire rest of the day sleeping.

Sunday we drove back to Amarillo with a stop in Dumas to visit Paul's parents. While visiting with them we were able to see Paul's brother and his family as well as Paul's aunts and uncles. It was great to see everyone, we certainly enjoyed the visit.

We made the final jaunt back to Amarillo and spent the rest of Memorial Day weekend catching up on much needed rest.

The kids only have a few more days of school left, but they are busy ones. Hopefully this busy week won't wear Paul completely out!

Memorial Weekend and Chemo Weekend combined

This morning I am waking up early to get everything ready so that we can go see our nephew's graduation. It is hard to believe that Brent is graduating from high school today. If you came to our wedding, Brent was our little ring bearer. On that day he was dressed in a little tuxedo. Although he was only 4 then, he looked so grown up and handsome. He was a great kid then and has turned into a great man today. Brent, we are very proud of you.

I really hope that when Paul wakes he feels like going. Chemo weekends are full of fatigue and yesterday was no different, the fatigue set in about 2:00 PM. So I hope he wakes in the next couple of hours feeling refreshed and ready to drive two and a half hours to the graduation. If he is able to go, I am thinking he must be our driver. The OKC trip made me aware that he isn't the best passenger, I am hoping that driving instead will keep away the road sickness!

Other than that, we don't have many Memorial weekend plans. I will certainly let you know if Paul is able to go!

4 months and counting...

Many of you may know this story, but our journey actually began on January 19th of this year. After having pain on and off for nearly a month, the pain during early morning hours of January 19th is what brought Paul to the conclusion that he must go to the doctor. He went that morning and the first CT scan on that day showed kidney stones and an enlarged lymph node. This is when the whirlwind of doctors visits, surgeries, and different diagnosis started.

He had kidney stones; they knew that for a fact. But the enlarged lymph node in the belly was a concern. The first PET scan was on the 21st of January and with that he got his first cancer diagnosis…lymphoma. Despite all the pain of the kidney stones, we went to see our first oncologist and after a slew of blood tests, it was determined Paul didn’t have lymphoma. Whew! We thought we just had to get rid of the kidney stones and our lives could go back to normal. Getting rid of those stubborn stones was not as easy as expected, it took two surgeries before they were finally gone! In the meantime a couple of weeks had passed, all the while Paul in immense pain. Although they were giving him pain medicine, it didn’t seem to affect the pain. And although the kidney stones were gone, the pain was not. This is when things really were scary for me.

It was obvious he was in tremendous pain, but at this point they didn’t know why he had pain….or what was causing it. Now we had been from our family practitioner, to urologist, to oncologist, to urologist, and now to gastroenterologist. A colonoscopy was scheduled, with the thought we would be able to rule out something else, but that was when the tumor was found. The gastroenterologist took a biopsy and scheduled us to see another oncologist. With yet another PET scan and CT scan, it was determined Paul would be undergoing chemotherapy and would need a port for the infusions. A new pain medicine was introduced, in hopes to help him with pain. Surgery was scheduled for a port placement and to take some lymph nodes out of his neck. We found out the lymph nodes were enlarged because of metastatic colon cancer, and we were ready to get started treating this disease.

Within a week of having the chemo port put in, Paul was going in for his first chemotherapy. Today he is getting chemotherapy #6, and at this point we are really unsure how many he will need. There will be 12 at least. If he needs more than 12, they will change chemo medications and keep going.

I wouldn’t have ever guessed this is what would be going on in our lives. It is hard to believe that 4 months have came and gone. In all honesty, there are days that Paul doesn’t even remember because of the horrible pain he was experiencing. I was so happy when the doctor was able to get his pain under control…and even happier now that he doesn’t take near the pain medicine he did in the beginning. That itself speaks for the healing going on in his body.

Simple task big accomplishment

We had a great weekend. As you may have already noticed…I don’t post a lot on weekends. I am unsure why I don’t, just busy I guess. So I am going to try to get better at posting on the weekends and I apologize for the delay.

Friday evening Paul worked on our pickup. It had been making some racket for a while, and on Friday he actually felt up to fixing it. Paul has always been one to do things himself. He doesn’t much care to take our cars into the shop; he would much rather do the work himself.

It doesn’t matter to me either way, but I grew up with my dad always working on something. Although dad never taught me how to work on cars, I have always helped out. From the time I was little I have been the “tool runner”, getting the tools needed while dad worked on cars or machinery. This still seems to be the case. I try to help Paul, by getting what he needs to get the job done.

Our friend Jeremy came over and the guys were able to get the pickup all fixed. What a BIG relief!
I know it may sound crazy, but I think Paul enjoyed it! Sometimes the simple things give us a great sense of accomplishment. Even though this wasn’t an extremely simple task, it gives us a great feeling it is completed and we can mark it off our list of “to do’s”! Not only am I thankful we were able to mark it off our list…but I am also thankful that Paul felt up to getting it done! I am hoping you were able to tackle and accomplish something on your “to do” list this weekend too!

I Can Cope

Paul and I attended our first “I Can Cope” class last night. I Can Cope is an educational program for people facing cancer—either personally, or as a friend or family caregiver. This wonderful program is sponsored by the American Cancer Society.

This was something that we had looked forward to for a couple of days because the speaker was going to talk about nutrition. I have watched Paul lose a tremendous amount of weight and not eat much for the first few days after each chemo treatment. I have worried about nutrition and the lack of energy from being undernourished, so this is why we both saw the need to go.

What a tremendous evening. The speaker was a local dietician giving us all kinds of tips on staying nourished and hydrated. What to eat and how much. They had tips on what to do on the days when Paul just doesn’t think he can stomach much, so that we wouldn’t see any additional weight loss. We were also able to meet with others going through different stages of cancer. We discussed with other attendees the things they use to manage their nutrition also. What a great feeling to be in a room with other people asking the same questions we ask!

We were given a wonderful cookbook at the end that has recipes to address specific medical needs. There are recipes specifically addressing things such as neutropenia, diarrhea, constipation, sore mouth, and even high calorie/high protein options. Paul and I are both excited to “dig in” to some of these new dishes.

We enjoyed this class so much; that we have already decided we want to make it to the next meeting, the topic is …Fatigue!

As with anything going on in our lives…it is a great feeling to connect with others going through the same thing.

Medical Terminology #3

Medical Terminology #3

There are many side effects of cancer treatments. One that has just recently struck Paul for the first time during his journey is mouth sores or oral mucositis.

Cancer-related mouth sores are sores or ulcers that form on the lining of the inside of the mouth or on the lips. From what I understand the sores appear burn-like and are painful, making it difficult for Paul to eat (which is something I think he needs to do more of!) Some people even have a difficult time talking, swallowing, or breathing because of the sores in their mouths or on their lips. These sores can appear on any of the soft tissues of the lips or the mouth, including the gums, tongue, or the roof and floor of the mouth.

You may ask…How do cancer treatments cause mouth sores?
Chemotherapy causes mouth sores because it is intended to kill rapidly growing cells — such as cancer cells. Some healthy cells in your body also divide and grow rapidly, including the cells that line the inside of your mouth. Since chemotherapy affects all cells, these healthy cells are also damaged. The damage to the cells in the mouth also makes it difficult for the mouth to heal itself and to fend off bacteria, leading to sores and infections.

At this time, Paul is trying to make it through this episode of mouth sores by simply maintaining his good oral hygiene. There are some things they can give to help with these types of episodes; I just pray this will be his only episode and the treatments for mouth sores are not necessary during his journey.

I have explained mouth sores as I understand them. I don’t claim to be a medical professional, I leave that to those that have that calling. As I have said before, if anyone knows of anything I have misstated, please contact me or leave a comment so I can update the information.

Mother's Day Weekend

This weekend was yet another cool weather weekend. We didn't do anything very exciting over the weekend, I wish we had so at least I would have something good to write.

Like most days 3-5 of chemo - Paul is tired, he slept the biggest portion of the weekend. These are the days that he is extremely fatigued, just getting up and taking a shower can be tiring on these days. When Paul is having days like this, the kids and I try to find things to do outside the house, so we don't disturb him. It was a beautiful day yesterday, so Gigi, the kids, and I made our way to Belmar Park. There have been many improvements to the park over the last couple of years, it is a great place to enjoy the beautiful weather.

It was a wonderful Mother's Day -- not only was I showered with adorable handmade gifts from the kids, I was also able to spend some time with by my mom (Gigi) and Paul's mom. I hope all mothers had a wonderful day yesterday, just as I did!

National Day of Prayer

Today is the National Day of Prayer, I encourage all to participate. Here is an excerpt about this day from the official website.

The National Day of Prayer is an annual observance held on the first Thursday of May, inviting people of all faiths to pray for the nation. It was created in 1952 by a joint resolution of the United States Congress, and signed into law by President Harry S. Truman. Our Task Force is a privately funded organization whose purpose is to encourage participation on the National Day of Prayer. It exists to communicate with every individual the need for personal repentance and prayer, to create appropriate materials, and to mobilize the Christian community to intercede for America's leaders and its families.

The National Day of Prayer has great significance for us as a nation. It enables us to recall and to teach the way in which our founding fathers sought the wisdom of God when faced with critical decisions. It stands as a call to us to humbly come before God, seeking His guidance for our leaders and His grace upon us as a people. The unanimous passage of the bill establishing the National Day of Prayer as an annual event, signifies that prayer is as important to our nation today as it was in the beginning.

Paul is taking in the National Day of Prayer by resting, I am glad he is able to do that and hope that he gets caught up on some much needed rest.

What’s the news of the day?

The good news, the lymph nodes are all shrinking, as well as some shrinking in the tumor! We are thankful for that. God is good! We are so blessed. We didn’t realize until today the extent of the amount in the liver and they even told us about some in the pelvic bone. You are probably asking the same question as me, do we treat it differently now? The answer is no. More than likely it was all there from the beginning just didn’t see it in previous scans.

So what now? Just keep getting the same chemo every two weeks, and they will check it again after a few more sessions. But I will tell you this and I want you to feel comfort in it; Paul looks better and feels better than he did two months ago and also the lymph and the tumor are responding to treatment, so that is good! Keep lifting Paul up in prayer, with Him we will make it through this journey.

Upcoming Chemo #5

It seems hard to believe, Paul goes in for chemotherapy #5 tomorrow. Some days seem to last forever and some pass by in the blink of an eye. I would never wish this journey on anyone, but I will say it has changed my perspective on many things. Many things in life seem so important until you enter one of life's trials. I understand the importance of every minute; and am so blessed that you spend your precious minutes praying for us and reading about us.

Life is precious, and unfortunately before this journey I didn't realize how precious. Don't be like me--don't hold back--let people know you care about them. Just let your heart be your guide.

I will post again late tomorrow, after chemo #5!

Cool restful weekend

We had a wonderful weekend! We enjoyed some time in the great outdoors at Palo Duro Canyon. It was a cool weekend, but as Paul said, "at least it wasn't hot and windy".

As most people say about chemotherapy, when you're feeling great, then it's time you go back for more! Paul goes back on Wednesday and I can't wait for them to tell us about the CT scan from last Wednesday. I just know it will be good news!

Medical Terminology #2

Back on March 4, Paul had day surgery. There were two things accomplished at the surgery, first the surgeon removed some questionable lymph nodes from the left side of Paul’s neck (which were malignant) and to put in a “port”. I am going to try my best to explain a port today. There may be several types of ports but the port that Paul has is called a PowerPort.

A port is a device placed under the skin. Paul’s is placed on the right side of his upper chest. This triangular device has a hollow space inside that is sealed by a soft top. The device connects to a small flexible tube which is inserted inside a large central vein that delivers blood to Paul’s heart. When Paul goes to the office for chemo, they put a special needle through the skin and into to the soft top of the port. This allows them to draw blood or inject IV medications. There are many benefits to this, but the biggest to Paul is he isn’t getting IVs all the time. Because the port places medications into the large central vein instead of the small peripheral veins, like most IVs, the medications mix more thoroughly in the blood, diluting them so they are less harmful to the vascular system. Although it sounds impossible, when the nurse accesses the port, it is basically painless to Paul.

In a nutshell, a port is a device they put under the skin. With a special needle, they can access the port and draw blood or inject Paul’s IV meds. This allows the chemotherapy meds to be infused into a large central vein in his body nearly painlessly.

Once again, I have no medical training. If anyone with any medical training finds anything that I have misstated please let me know so I can correct. If, by chance, I didn’t explain it clearly, you can read about the PowerPort here.

No News

This morning Paul drank some berry flavored magic for his CT scan. This magical drink is supposed to help them read the scan therefore he had to drink it before going to the office. I haven't ever tasted this berry flavored magic, but I am sure it isn't the best tasting stuff. The taste didn't seem to bother him too much, he guzzled it like a glass of refreshing cold water on a hot summer day. After this magical drink filled his insides we went to the doctors office so he could have this highly anticipated scan. The nurse called his name and he went back for the CT scan while I waited in the waiting area. It wasn't much more than about 15 minutes and he was back and we were on our way home. We didn't get any news today nor will we tomorrow, or even the next day. We learned that the "results" from the scan will be given at Paul's next appointment, one week from today. I am not sure why I thought we would hear something today, I guess I want instant results. But I am reminded it is in His timing, so with that I will be patient for the results until next Wednesday.

Are we on the right track?

Day 7 of treatment 4 and again things are looking up. Now we come to the question..are we on the right track? Tomorrow Paul goes back to the doctor for a CT scan - this is to check the cancer growth. If the tumor has not grown, then the chemotherapy treatments are successful. I must trust in Him, but I must admit it is difficult not to let nervousness and worry in my heart. I am not sure when we will hear results, but I will share them with you when they come.

Thank you for continuing to read our blog and praying for our family. Our Journey is much easier knowing we have your support and prayers behind us. We may never know exactly why we are experiencing this chapter in our life, but I do know I feel extremely blessed to have your support in Our Journey.

Yard work

I wish days one through five weren't such a struggle, but I am so glad we can look forward to the good days that are ahead!

It was a busy weekend. My mom (Gigi) came in on Saturday to spend the weekend with us and Trevor had an inline hockey mini camp. He had a great time and learned a lot, boy is he tired though. Paul was tired this weekend also, he slept and ate, slept and ate, slept and ate. I am so glad he was able to get in some much needed rest. He is a sneaky fellow though...when the girls, Gigi, and I went to watch Trevor at hockey camp....Paul mowed the lawn. Don't worry, even though we were all away, our neighbor caught him mowing and told him he should be resting. (Way to go M!) When I pulled in the driveway returning from hockey, I realized it was his plan all along. Get us away from the house so he could do one of his favorite things...mow the lawn.

Chemo Infusion #4 Over!

Paul had chemo #4 Wednesday. It has been almost 2 months since diagnosis and even though he has chemotherapy side effects, his pain is much better now than before he started chemotherapy.

During his appointment, he and Dr. E discussed the different side effects Paul experiences; from neuropathy, gout, nausea, to several other annoying things. At this time the plan is to leave all his medications the same, everything seem to be managed as well as can be expected at this point.

After his appointment he went to get his chemo infusion, which was around 3 1/2 hours this time. It is calming to see the faces that have grown familiar to us, the faces of other patients that are always getting their infusions at the same time. Paul likes to sit in the same chair everytime for his infusion, just as many other patients do.

TGIF, tomorrow he goes in to get his chemo pump disconnected and we begin looking to the weekend. I pray for a restful and relaxing weekend.

Our truck stop story – an amazing experience

Recently, during our travels to the OKC Zoo, we had a very interesting experience. We stopped between Amarillo and Oklahoma City at a truck stop. We know the place, because we have stopped there before. We even camped close by once. They have a good restaurant and clean restrooms; and we were need of both at this point in the trip.

So we stopped and went inside amidst the rain and storms outside. We walked through the gift shop entry and into the restaurant. It was a seat yourself restaurant and we chose the table in the far back corner, a nice big round corner booth to fit the five of us perfectly. Paul particularly thought this was an excellent spot since it was away from the outside doors, where the cold humid air might blow in.

Even though the choices on the menu looked wonderful, we all decided to eat from the buffet. Paul and I took turns making trips to the buffet filling kids plates as well as our own. On one of Paul’s walks back to the table, he was stopped by a middle aged, clean-cut man who was eating and working on his laptop.

The man politely asked Paul if he could buy our children dessert. Paul was caught off guard by this kind request, but as many fathers would say, he explained that he would see if his children ate a good dinner first.

When Paul returned to the table, he was obviously afraid of what this man may attempt to do. He explained to our children that they were NOT to leave the table unless Momma or Daddy were with them. He then proceeded to tell me about the odd encounter. He told me that people don’t do things like that these days. I told him maybe some do, at least I would like to think so.

Paul and I discussed the fact that dessert was included in the buffet, so if the man came by again…we would kindly say no; their dessert was included in the price of their dinner. We went on eating our meal.

Since this was a truck stop, it was a fairly busy place. Because the pouring rain outside, many people didn’t seem to be in a big hurry to leave. Most tables had just one or two people, many working on their laptops. We enjoyed our dinner as we watched others enjoy their dinner around us.

After eating our dinner, the kids and I even got dessert. It was still pouring outside, and the storm didn't appear to be letting up. We were finishing up dessert when we looked up and the gentleman stranger was standing at the end of our table.

He called himself “Uncle Robert”, and he explained he wanted to take Daddy and the kids to the gift shop just outside the restaurant and buy the kids a special treat. He said that if it was okay with me, that he would leave me at our table and I could watch over our things as well as keeping on eye his belongings. I looked and he had left his laptop, phone and a bag all sitting in the booth where he was sitting. Paul was right, this is not something you would typically go for, but the man seemed genuine and for some reason we trusted him.

So Paul, the kids, and “Uncle Robert” went to the gift shop area while I sat back at our round corner booth. I turned and had my legs off the side of the booth so I could see Uncle Robert's stuff as well as the hopes of possibly getting a glimpse of my family in the gift shop. I sat there, turned to the side, for what seemed like a long time. It was long enough for the lady truck driver in the next booth to strike up a conversation with me. All the time, I was keeping an eye on this stranger’s belongings and watching my family pass by the door a few times.

Everything appeared to be okay, but I kept questioning myself and whether this was the right thing to do. I even tried to send Paul a text message at one point, but with NO signal strength because of the weather, my text message didn’t even send for a few minutes. I said a little prayer and tried to remain patient for my family to return.

Finally, here they all come, Paul, the kids, and this stranger that called himself Uncle Robert. The kids were excited – they had stuffed animals, a doll, snacks, stickers and even a bike license plate. I wish I could’ve taken a picture at that time. The kids all gave the stranger a high five and he went back to his table and back to work on his laptop.

Yes, we broke the rules, we took gifts from a stranger, but it seemed different. This stranger didn’t seem so strange. All we know about the giving stranger inside the truck stop.... His name is Robert. He has never had a family and regrets that. Although he is on the road a lot driving a truck, he calls Nashville, TN home. He told Paul he understands how hard it must be to raise a family now and thanked Paul for letting him buy something for our kids.

We paid for our dinner and went back into the rain to load up in the car and finish our drive to Oklahoma City. As we drove away, Paul and I looked at each other astonished at what had just happened. We began to discuss what the meaning of it was, and what lesson we were supposed to learn from it. As we drove through the rain, we never came to a conclusion, but felt certain God had that encounter in His plan. Was it a random act of kindness, a Good Samaritan, or an Angel perhaps? We don't know. We just smile knowing it is the work of the Lord. We know He is going to get us through this terrible disease called cancer. And…we know He loves us and He loves you too!!

We did it! OKC Zoo!

Our plan worked out. I am so excited to share it with you. Friday after work we packed our bags and headed to Oklahoma City! We arrived there late and were able to get a decent nights rest in the hotel. After breakfast on Saturday, the kids and I enjoyed lots of fun in the hotel pool while Paul, Papa Boots, and Kathy watched (and sometimes plugged their ears from all the screaming!) The pool was a lot of fun especially since Uncle Jeff, Grace and Ema joined us. After the swimming experience, we cleaned up and made a trip to the OKC zoo. The zoo was an incredible adventure, it had been about 4 years since we had been there, and they have made some great improvements. We took in the zoo experience for about five hours and didn’t even get to see it all! We rode the tram around the zoo once, but we spent the rest of the time walking (and sitting when we could!) around the zoo and seeing all the creatures our eyes could explore. It was a fun time being with family and getting to enjoy the many creatures. Uncle Jeff even tried to convince Trevor that the zoo had an invisible cat! Hehe! Oklahoma City has a great zoo – not too far from home and an entire day of fun. In fact, it was rated one of the top 5 zoos for kids by Child Magazine.

Paul did wonderful on the trip. Although it was tiring, he had a great time at the zoo with the kids. He was able to get some much needed extra rest on Sunday. It is uncommon for him to let me drive, but on Sunday he let me drive home. I hate to say it, but he got a little car sick (I would like to think it WASN’T my driving!). Thanks for reading and begin praying about Chemo #4, it is Wednesday!